Assertiveness Articles

Article Overview:
In this article, Simon North and Penny Gundry take a look at resilience to define what it is and identify how we can increase our resilience to enable us to learn, adapt and to move forwards given any situation.

Opening Words:
We should ask two questions about resilience. Firstly, what is it? In most dictionaries, it is defined as the power to revert to original form after compressions. Secondly, is there really something to consider in this resilience issue? In the context of careers, there most certainly is.

In the UK, a PWC report for 2011 estimated that absenteeism cost to the economy was £32 billion. A similar cost was A$30Bn in Australia. Figures for the costs of absenteeism, insurance, costs of cover and lost productivity are huge in the US. In terms of days absent in the past three years, the figure in the UK is 6.5 days per employee a year and in Canada was 7.7 days.

Useful Reading For:
Everyone.

Article Overview:
Fiona Reed says that if she were allowed to leave three messages as her legacy to the world, one of them would be that she would love it if we were all striving to be congruent. In this article, Fiona explains why she considers congruence (which is commonly associated with counselling and assertiveness training) to be so important.

Opening Words:
If I were given three messages to leave as my legacy to the world, one of them would be that I would love it if we were all striving to be congruent.

Congruence is a term familiar in the world of counselling which, when offered along with empathy and a positive regard for the client, it is argued, will create the prime conditions for personal development.

So what is it? It's sometimes put that congruence is 'being the same on the outside as you are on the inside', that is a rare form of honesty.

Useful Reading For:
Everyone. Especially those looking at counselling skills or assertiveness.

Article Overview:
This article from Sheila Williams looks at the differences between firm management and bullying and considers why behaviour might be interpreted differently in different organisations.

Opening Words:
What are the differences between firm management and bullying?

ACAS characterise bullying as offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means intended to undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient.

Bullying is assessed as behaviour that is unacceptable by reasonable, normal standards and is disadvantageous or unwelcome to the individual. However, what is reasonable and normal for one may be unacceptable to others and, as Hamlet observed, ‘therein lies the rub’. It is hard to get agreement on objective measures of what constitutes bullying behaviour. Nowhere is this more apparent than when managers are dealing with staff under-performance.

Linda is a manager who came from a ‘command and control’ culture into an organisation with a radically different approach. She is ambitious, dynamic and has, as she puts it, ‘a short fuse’. Her style of management led to a formal complaint of bullying by one of her team. Other team members gave witness to this during the internal investigation that followed. The investigation team concluded that she had used inappropriate and bullying behaviour; in particular losing her temper with the individual on a number of occasions and belittling them in public.

Useful Reading For:
Line managers and supervisors.

Article Overview:
Helen Krag shows us how to ‘blow your own trumpet’ whilst maintaining your integrity.

Opening Words:
OK, you’ve got your head down and you’re doing a great job in your company; you’ve delivered against your objectives in the last year and you’re well-liked. So that pay rise or dream promotion should be landing in your lap anytime soon, right? Well, not necessarily! If this is your attitude and it’s not happening for you, then read on …

Fact: Successful people who reach top roles in business are not just good at their jobs – they are also generally masters of self-promotion. Typically, they have learned to do it with integrity, in such a way that it fits with them and their values and ideals. Traditionally, men have had a reputation for being better at it than women, with women often feeling uncomfortable about ‘blowing their own trumpet’. So, here are 5 secrets of successful business people that will help you promote yourself and your reputation – so that you stand out from the crowd, with your integrity fully intact.

Before you dive in, here are two golden rules:

Useful Reading For:
Anyone who wants to progress in their chosen careers and be recognised by others.

Article Overview:
In this article Jennifer looks at some suggestions for getting people to take responsibility for themselves and show initiative.

Opening Words:
Do you ever get asked for your advice, opinion or assistance? In fact, do you seem to spend most of your time responding to people’s queries and telling them what they should be doing? And do you feel that you are repeatedly asked the same questions by the same people?

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You have a job to do, a team to manage, results to achieve and deadlines to meet. You could do without these distractions because that’s what they feel like. Why can’t people just use their initiative and get on with the job?

Useful Reading For:
Managers and in particular first time managers.

Article Overview:
In this Article, Tony Atherton discusses the Salami Tactic, often used during negotiations, and how to counter it.

Opening Words:
Some negotiators just love to play tactical games. In this article we will look at one of the most widely known negotiating tactics and think about how to rebuff it. In our negotiating skills courses we discuss this and other tactics in some detail and practice using them and rebuffing them.

Salami sausages are big things (often spicy) that are eaten a slice at a time, they would be indigestible if taken in a single large piece. This aspect has led negotiators to use the name for a negotiating technique that tries to do just that: to win concessions in small doses (slices) when the other party would probably reject them if they were put on the table all at once. It is often used on a party that is mainly concerned with damage limitation.

Useful Reading For:
Anyone involved in negotiations.

Article Overview:
This superb article from Calum Coburn is essential reading for anyone involved in negotiation or sales. It explains some of the common tactics used in negotiation by those focused on short term benefit, and gives clear advice for neutralising these without resorting to the same manipulative approaches.

Opening Words:
Prior to the 1980’s, many companies focused their negotiation training on tactics. Although the following tactics will yield a short term result, we don’t advocate their use in a business context. The reason we don’t advocate their use is due to both the long term damage they will deliver to your business relationships, and the questionable ethics of using manipulative tactics. Once you have mastered the Principled Negotiation Model, the need for manoeuvring to gain a small short term advantage will be made redundant. These tactics are designed to extract value out of the other side without making any value contribution or creation. They are thus Win-Lose by nature.

Useful Reading For:
Anyone involved in negotiations or sales.

Article Overview:
Joanne Barnfather takes a look at our behaviour and how it affects the use of our time.

Opening Words:
Time is precious. You cannot save time - you cannot put a couple of hours away in a cupboard to use later when you need them. It seems that time is the greatest enemy of many people. Yet some people seem to get the job done with ease and in time. The difference is each person's ability to manage their time. It is essential to be aware of how you use your time.

We are all given 86,400 seconds every day, what do you do with them?

Useful Reading For:
Everyone, especially those who'd like to manage their time better by working smarter, not harder.

Article Overview:
Mark Forster's article looks at the danger of saying "yes" against your better judgement, and the knock on affect this can have on time management.

Opening Words:
I can't remember who it was - but a year or two ago someone wrote on one of the email lists to which I belong that she had learned never to say "yes" unless she could say it wholeheartedly. Whoever it was, I owe her a debt of thanks because it is one of the best lessons that I have ever learned.

The context was how easy it is for our lives to fill up with responsibilities that we have taken on more or less reluctantly. When someone asks us to do something, it is often difficult to say "no." So we end up saying "yes" against our better judgement. And one of the reasons why it is so easy to say "yes" against our better judgement is because we often don't have a clear and easy way to tell what our better judgement is. The other person will often come up with highly persuasive reasons which make us feel that we will be uncaring or ungrateful or illogical or mean or reckless or whatever if we don't agree with them. And since we don't want to feel any of these things we say "yes" reluctantly - and regret it later!

Useful Reading For:
This is a useful idea to use in assertiveness training but is relevant to anyone who finds it difficult to say 'no'.