Have you ever noticed how new people in an organisation tend to be the ones brimming with enthusiasm and optimism, and how, just a few months or years later, those same people can display the very cynicism and pessimism that suffocated their own early enthusiasm?
Pessimism can sometimes feel like an infectious virus that spreads through an organisation.
I was reminded about how negative messages can affect my own perspective in recent weeks, as I prepared for my first ever trip to Glastonbury, which I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. (For those of you who are not in the UK and may not be familiar with Glastonbury, it's basically 175,000 people in a field listening to live music over a long weekend.) For many of you, going to Glastonbury might not seem a big deal so perhaps I should explain that I don't like camping, I'm a little bit OCD when it comes to personal hygiene and, like a lot of us, but perhaps surprisingly in my case, I can be a little uncomfortable in new groups and new situations I have no control over.
But I'd said, enthusiastically, I'd go (admittedly thinking that meant two nights camping, not five). The trouble is that 90% of the images I’d been given of Glastonbury since then had been negative. I’d been told about the squalid toilets, about the long walk from the car park carrying a huge weight. I’d been told about the potential for claustrophobia and about the lack of showers. The list goes on and on.
Faced with this negativity, by people who wanted to ‘prepare me for the worst’, it occurred to me that optimism can be fragile. After all, if we hear the same negative message enough times, those negative and worrying thoughts will soon be going round and round in our heads, reinforcing themselves with every cycle until they shape our actions, or more likely inactions.
So, what can you do to preserve your enthusiasm, and your confidence to take the first step on a new journey or adventure, in the face of negativity?
There are many things we can do to limit the negative effects of other people and, as always, there are some useful activities in Trainers’ Library, some of which I’ve mentioned before, that can help participants understand the nature of optimism, resilience and determination.
Here are three:
My own response to my crisis of confidence was to verbalise the negativity I was carrying. I wrote a story based on the perception of Glastonbury I’d been given, focusing on every negative vision that had been bouncing around my head. I expressed every anxiety, every uncertainty. The walk from the car became an endurance that Bear Grylls could only imagine. The group of 15 people I’m going with, most of whom I don’t know, turned out to be really, well, annoying, and don’t even get me started on the toilets! I exaggerated every horror I’d imagined, until they became a parody of themselves, and just poured all of the negativity out. Finally, I read back what I’d written and found myself laughing out loud. And I wondered why, if this were a realistic vision, so many of our group would be returning for the fourth time!
Then, I opened a new page and wrote about Glastonbury as I wanted to experience it. Whilst acknowledging the difficulties, I focused on all the positive things that would happen. I imagined all of the music I’d hear, the atmosphere as our favourite bands played, walking hand in hand with my partner under the stars, dancing till dawn, forming new, enduring friendships and discovering fantastic bands I’d never known before (actually that’s already happened). I imagined the warmth of the sun on head (for obvious reasons, I have to be careful there), instead of picturing myself drowning in a river of mud.
I read my new version over a few times to fix this new, positive vision in my head. I really focused on what the experience would mean for all my senses. What I’d hear, see, feel, smell (thinking of food, not the toilets), and taste.
Optimism and resilience are important and perhaps undervalued skills. They are skills that, for example, will help participants respond positively to change or give them the courage to take the first steps in a journey of personal development. Changing my perspective has really helped and I’m once again, looking forward to my adventure.
But what if?
Ok, so, this is England in June. The skies could still open; the ground could turn to mud and I might hate it. So, I remind myself too that, ultimately, I do have a choice – I can leave. With my new positive view of the experience I’m going to have, I doubt I’ll need it but sometimes, having an emergency exit isn’t a bad thing if it gives us the courage to use the entrance and take those first steps into the unknown. After all, we all like to feel in control.