| Responses | Date | Author |
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I agree that this is about managing other's expectations. We are still largely working within an extrovert bias business culture which looks on introverts as 'lacking' somehow. MBTI step II is a helpful approach which will help the individual in question understand what type of introvert they are and help them with the language to explain this to others. Happy to help with that if appropriate. My passion is enabling Introverts to play to their strengths and not to bow to the pressure applied to be more extravert. |
| 24/04/2018 | Jo |
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Hi Zoe - It sounds as though other people need to understand better about how to work with and engage people who are introverts, so maybe it is them that need the training, not the staff member herself? In my experience, when people get frustrated with introverts for not contributing in meetings etc, its because they run the meetings in a way that only really works for extraverts (ie do your thinking as you talk, there and then, on the spot and contribute ideas before you've had a chance to think them through/analyse them properly). The person facilitating the meeting needs to incorporate different ways for introverts to engage as well as extraverts, such as giving people individual thinking time, then talking in pairs, before sharing the ideas with the whole group, or introducing a topic at one meeting, giving people time to go away and think about it/research it, before coming back to discuss it at the next meeting. You're probably already familiar with it, but something that might be useful to share with people who need to understand how to get the best from introverts is the "How to Care for Introverts" poster which you can find at http://questionablylate.tumblr.com/post/17227500725/my-design-but-not-my-list-how-to-care-for. I'd also recommend that you help people to understand the value of the introvert - they could watch Susan Cain's TED talk on the Power of Introverts (https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts) and an article in the Guardian several years ago (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/03/this-column-change-your-life-introverts) which might help. Hope this is useful. Best wishes Nicki |
| 24/04/2018 | Nicki |
Hi Zoe, interesting question... What's the measure for 'too quiet'? Perhaps its worth celebrating the individuality of each person in the team and how extroverted and introverted both add to the mix of a successful team. Use examples to elicit the perceptions of others about each of these and that perception isn't always valid. They do say that empty vessels make most noise!
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| 24/04/2018 | Anil |
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If the lady has an introversion preference, she would benefit from receiving information/an agenda in advance. This will allow her to reflect before the meeting so that she can contribute without having to do so on the spot. Having said that, you may wish to know what is preventing her from contributing, and recognise whether the vocal people in the group are self managing their own contributions, or being chaired well, so that everyone can contribute. MBTI may help for the group. |
| 24/04/2018 | Catherine |
Hi Zoe
Some excellent advice there from Jenny.
Interestingly, I was talking to one of our lovely members, Jane, yesterday about the exercise Gossip (https://www.trainerslibrary.com/user_area/materials/training_doc_details.aspx?doc=383&area=2). In it the team must solve a puzzle, but can only do it if everyone shares the information that they have. Jane confirmed that often the most interesting discussion revolves around the person who, invariably, didn't speak up. What is interesting is how few of the other participants accept that they should personally have done something to ensure everyone got a chance to share what they knew.
So it might be interesting, if you can, to run this exercise with your colleague and her team to see what happens during the exercise and the debrief discussions. The team don't need to know that the purpose of running the exercise specifically relates to their quiet colleague, but it could give you and them some valuable insight about how to harness her quiet confidence.
Good luck, I'd love to know how you get on.
Frances
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| 24/04/2018 | Frances |
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Hi Zoe, I’d echo Jenny’s comments and also wonder whether the whole group would benefit from some ‘appreciating difference’ coaching? If the comments are mainly coming from colleagues with extroversion preference it might be useful to properly explore what introversion and extroversion is truly about to get a shared understanding. Happy to discuss further if you’d like. |
| 24/04/2018 | Ann |
Thanks Jenny, that gives me lots to be thinking about!
Zoe |
| 24/04/2018 | Zoe |
Hi Zoe,
A few things that might be useful to consider here from a few different angles....
I would be interested in chatting to the lady more to delve a bit deeper.....So, for instance.....What are the reasons why she feels she chooses not to speak up more in meetings? Is there a need for her to speak up more in meetings? What are the consequences for her of speaking up? What are the consequences of her speaking up? What would happen if she did speak up? What will happen if she continues to remain quiet?
Another thing worth exploring is who is it specifically that is telling her she is too quiet? What would they like her to do / speak about instead? How many people are saying this to her? Are they 'always' saying this to her or is that her perception?
My feeling is that once you start to uncover the answers to some of these questions, you will have a better understanding on how to help her move forward.
I hope this helps. If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me or ask any further questions.
Warm Wishes,
Jenny |
| 23/04/2018 | Jenny |