In Knaresborough, near Harrogate in North Yorkshire, is a tourist attraction called Mother Shipton’s cave. It’s actually England’s oldest tourist attraction, open since 1630. It’s the site of a petrifying well, the only one of its type in the country, which remarkably turns anything to stone. A teddy bear, for example, tied under the slow drip, drip of its waters, will turn to stone in about three months.
The word petrified has come to mean a paralysing fear. I guess the paralysis evolves from a defence mechanism that probably served us well in ancient times. When you suddenly stumble on a wild animal you can’t outrun, freezing is sometimes the safest response.
In today’s rapidly changing world, however, paralysis is often the most ineffective defence. We can end up like a small stone, battered by the unceasing waves of change, clinging hopelessly to a cliff that is rapidly crumbling away, until one day we’re dragged into the water, with no control over our destination or journey.
How do we get into that situation?
It’s often the small, irrational, unqualified fears that petrify us, that prevent us taking the first step on a journey we control, not the big ones. Like a teddy bear in Mother Shipton’s cave, we succumb to the steady drip, drip, drip of negativity until we’re as immobile as stone. Some of that negativity comes from external forces – but often it’s our own niggling inner voice that debilitates us and prevents us achieving our potential. It’s the voice that says, “Yes, but what if…”
And isn’t it easier sometimes not to take ownership of the journey, and instead allow yourself to always be a victim to external influences? At least then, we can blame someone else if things don’t work out. Taking control of change and creating our own journey means taking ownership and responsibility, and that in itself can be scary.
I know how debilitating the inner voice can be. I grew up with so many fears, I could barely list them all. Top of the list was flying. Near the top were big, crowded cities like New York. But one day my friends suggested going to New York for Christmas, and I realised how disappointed in myself I’d be if I let my fear lead me to a ‘no’. So, I said ‘yes’.
The decision terrified me, but not as much as the implications of ‘no’ did. I knew in that moment that if I couldn’t say yes then, I’d probably never find the courage to say yes in the future. I didn’t want huge chunks of the world to be forever beyond my reach.
There have been countless ‘yes’ moments in my life since – some have worked out well, others less so. When I look back, however, I don’t really regret any of the big steps I’ve taken. Which is more than can be said for some of the steps I didn’t take.
‘Yes’ can be an incredibly liberating word. When we publicly commit to do something (and provided we’ve enough pride to do the things we say we will) we take the first step on our own journey, rather than someone else’s.
Change is often only frightening because we tend to think of it as moving from one fixed ‘petrified’ state to another. If we think of change as fluid - a step in a continuous journey - and accept that nothing is permanent, change suddenly becomes less intimidating. If things don’t work out, we can change things again. And again. Indeed, we can find ourselves looking forward and planning for the next change.
Change at work is inevitable, whether that’s changes to processes, business structure or individual roles. In our roles, it might be about letting go of PowerPoint and taking the plunge with more experiential learning activities.
Whatever change is involved, it’s much more enjoyable when we’re not ‘petrified’ by the fear of it and take control of both the journey and the destination.
We’ve got some great new icebreakers in Trainers’ Library that will help participants recognise their petrifying negative self-talk, consider the source of their anxieties, recognise their own potential and prepare for and adapt for change in a more positive way. Here are some of my favourites:
In addition, you might like to look at our new video,
Inspiring Change, which looks at the two driving forces that inspire individual change – Running Away and Running Towards.
Have fun creating your journey and, as always, I'd love your feedback on this or any of my other blogs.
Until next time...